Control Issues

While watching the Hulu Original show, Handmaid's Tale, I started having some memories of having similar conversations with myself; The same kinds of conversations that Offred has with herself while under the control of the Commander and his wife. Even though she is in captivity, and almost every activity that she does is monitored and controlled, they can't have her brain, her thoughts, her memories or her opinions.

I remember sitting in church as a teenager and thinking these thoughts:
1) If there really is a god, why have they not shown me a single reason to believe in them?
2) I hate the pastor and he is a creepy crook.
3) Attending church is a waste of my time and I wish I was doing something else.
4) I hate these fake people.
5) If there was a god, why would he allow kids to be harmed and molested by pastors?
6) Why is this damn church more important to my parents than me having my own opinions?
7) Why does it matter what I wear? If I was born naked and this god created me, why is it so horrible to wear a bathing suit and swim around men/boys?

Those are just a few of the thoughts I was having. Plus more. If I would have voiced any one of these thoughts to my parents they would have freaked the hell out. I was not allowed to think these things.

It is sad how much I can relate to Offred and the other women in Handmaid's Tale. At least I got to grow up and form my own views, opinions, thoughts, desires, political views, etc.. Even though I feel that my relationship with my parents is irreparable (in most ways), I was able to come out of the closet, decide I don't believe in their god and form relationships with the kinds of people I was drawn to. I also refuse to waste my Sunday mornings in church.

Being raised to be a zombie with (They hoped) no brain of my own makes me realize how dangerous and damaging this kind of control is. How do we solve this? Question everything! Don't believe people who say things like "Everything happens for a reason," or "God works in mysterious ways." That is just bullshit. Question, read, research and come to your own conclusions.Don't let anyone control you. Ever! Pay attention to politics. The dystopian world of Handmaid's Tale is not as far-fetched as one might think!

Arrogance of Christianity

I recently attended a birthday party for a good friend of mine. I put aside my highly sensitive, introvert messages to myself (Like, ugh, people) and went because I care about her and I know she would come to mine. Her mom invited me and I  really did enjoy myself. The party was at a beautiful park on a lake. They rented out a gazebo close to the lake. Overall, it was very pleasant.

One incident stood out to me that illustrates the complete and utter arrogance of many Christians today. There was a group at the gazebo next to us called "Earth." (At least that is what the sign said.) I thought they looked cool and interesting. Immediately one person pointed out to me (in a very condescending tone) "Those people over there are worshipping Mother Earth." *eye roll I said nothing, but thought to myself "So fucking what?"

Just before we ate, everyone gathered and held hands and forced the group into a Christian prayer to thank God for the food. I awkwardly looked around in disbelief at how often I am subjected to being forced into religious rituals as an atheist.

Toward the end of the party, someone else said to me, again, condescendingly, "Did you see those crazy Mother Earth worshippers over there? I was going to go over and ask them if they were worshipping Jesus" Since I don't hide my facial expressions very well, she quickly added, "I mean I didn't though." All I said was "That's good."

Why do people (and by people I mean mostly Christians) think it's ok to force their beliefs on others, but don't recognize that others have a right to believe how they want? It is the ultimate example of Christian privilege. Think about this, Christians. Think. If you were suddenly told, during a birthday party, a work event, or really, anything, that the majority of Muslims there wanted to have a prayer, how would you feel? Awkard? Appalled that they would be arrogant enough to assume you want to pray to their God? Annoyed? Well, guess what? That is how others feel when you force them into your religious rituals. If you want to be allowed to worship as you please, then you MUST allow others to do the same.


Thanks for reading. I have been on a long break working for crappy places that sucked the life out of me and I am now taking time for myself to write and relax a bit. So, you will see more blogs from me in the future. Please share!