Wednesday, January 6, 2010

In the Beginning...God?

In the beginning, there was a very young and curious child. She grew up in a military household and at the time of her "conversion" had two younger brothers. That small child who was always in the very front and middle of her classroom pictures for school, due to her small size, was me. :-) I was a very gentle, good and obedient child who mothered my little brothers and never liked to see anyone hurt. I know that my parents meant well and loved me very much. I do know that, but sometimes, as you read this blog and future blogs, you may wonder if they really did. Trust me, in their own way, they did.

It seems, from my memory, that one day we were a "normal" military family for a while, and then we turned into freaks. Jesus freaks. I think this happened for the same reason the some people get pulled into cults (you may decide after reading some of my stories that we were in a cult, I will explore that later). I would like to study a bit more about cults to perhaps understand this.


My mom's dad died when she was a teenager and her mom was a working mom who had her own grief to work on. My mom and her sister were left to deal with their sorrow on their own. Perhaps a church family with open arms was appealing to her.

My father (from what I can gather from little stories here and there) was verbally, and perhaps physically, abused by his cold-hearted dad, who never knew how to show him love. He joined the military at age 17 and left his family behind. Maybe the pastor of the church represented a father figure for him to follow. It seems they were both searching for a family to love them, and church offered that for them. I can imagine it must have felt so good to have the Christian community gather around them and support them. In a very short time, my father went from being an ex-catholic who thought the church would catch fire if he walked in, to a leader in the Baptist church and eventually a Baptist preacher himself (but I am getting ahead of myself here).

As my brothers and I moved through our lives, we began to see some changes in my parents. Sunday mornings became a time of getting dressed up and heading to church. We were all pretty good kids, and I remember that I always wanted to please my parents. I learned Bible verses and went to Sunday school to learn all the Bible stories I could learn. I don't have specific memories of my actual "conversion" experience except that my parents were SO happy! We lived in Hawaii at the time and I remember I was baptized outside at the ocean on a cool, breezy day with several people on the shore watching with smiles on their faces. I am not sure if I even knew what being a Christian meant, but I knew that my parents were happy with me, and that was so important to me. So, I emerged from the water "born-again" and ready to start my new life. At age nine.

Picture: Me at about age 12 or 13 with my little sister.

7 comments:

  1. Wow, Lori, I love it so far. Can't wait to read more.

    You look so much like Angie in the picture!

    I added your blog to my Google Reader so I can see when there is a new post :)

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  2. I love this new blog. I cannot wait to read more. I love learning about you more and your journey. I think that all of us who read this will be better for it, looking at our own paths and ourselves. Thank you for your openness and honesty. You are very brave my friend.
    Love you

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  3. I look forward to reading all of your stories.

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  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  5. sounds like the whole becoming a Christian family was actually pretty confusing and stressful for you (and maybe your brothers too?).

    i was raised Mormon - i remember begging not to be forced to be baptized at age 8 - even then i knew that was not the place for me!

    now days i am a self described Jesus Freak - using this definition - mainly because i like taking a word/phrase the mainstream has used as a derogatory thing and claiming it as a good.

    but, then again, i kinda like the word freak anyway :P ---- had to delete my first comment cause i dorked out had screwed up the link

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  6. Hi Lori looks like we were baptized at the same age. Sadly I was the most legalistic little kid. I think I was too serious for such a little kid. I remember my pastor asking me to tell the congregation what I felt being baptized was like and I said it was like marriage because I was committing my life to God. Yeah I was way too serious at 9.

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