Sunday, April 18, 2010

Coming Out in Many Ways

As you can see from reading my blog, I have many different reasons for losing my faith in god and Christianity. There is not one event that caused me to lose faith overnight.

I actually can’t even give you an exact time in my life that I could have labeled myself an atheist. For a long time, I knew I was over god, but I just never thought to give it a label.

I know for sure that one of the main contributing factors for my turning my back on the faith I grew up with was the treatment of homosexuals.

 Christians contradict the teachings of their Christ every time they mock, criticize, degrade, forsake, hate, judge, preach against, protest against, ignore, disown or neglect anyone who is gay, lesbian, bisexual, transsexual or transgender.

When I was growing up, the only thing I knew about homosexuals was that they were sinners who were bound for hell. (The way the preachers went on and on about those “reprobates” I thought they were going to hell a lot faster than I was- lol)

For some reason, fundamental Baptist preachers love to harp on this subject. I honestly think, after watching preachers like Jerry Falwell  (Click here to hear Falwell's hate), Pat Robertson, Ted Haggard- and most of the preachers I had to hear every agonizing Sunday- that many of them must have this phobia because they secretly like men and are scared to death to be found out. So, they preach against homosexuality to insure that everyone knows their stance. (Ted Haggard openly admitted this in an interview after being caught with a male prostitute) (Ted Haggard's apology)

The problem for me was this: I was taught that everyone deserved to be loved. My parents were never racist, hateful or mean to anyone. My mom always taught me to love everyone. I experienced a lot of racism toward me when I was a young child because I was one of the only light-haired freckle faced kids in school in Hawaii. (Most kids in my class were very dark-skinned with dark eyes.) I knew how that felt, and I sure did not think it was right to treat people differently because of their skin color.

 So, how was being homosexual any different from being born with dark skin, light skin, freckles, curly hair, or anything else with which we are born??

During the time I still believed there was a god, I wondered why god would make so many people homosexual and then doom them to hell, just because they loved someone with the same body part that they had. What kind of “loving” god would do that? How could he expect humans to be more loving, if he (Mr. Perfect) was that evil?

I could never accept that there was anything wrong with being gay. I had arguments with my parents when I was a teen and in my 20s, but I gave up when I realized it was like talking to a brick wall. They are never going to accept that some people are homosexual because their church/pastor tells them it is wrong. So that is what they believe.

My parents think that most people either chose to be gay, or that they must have been abused while they were young children and that made them gay. Those were their only arguments.

This is what I have to say about choosing to be gay: SO WHAT?? Even if people choose to be gay, which most do not, why does this matter to you? Whether they were born that way, or chose to be that way. Why does it matter to you what someone else does with their body, their love and their heart? Short video on choice

No one in my family knows this, but I guess they will now. I am bisexual. I am tired of fighting it and I am tired of hiding it. I guess growing up in an environment where this was unacceptable; I pushed my feelings deep down inside myself. After so many years of doing that, I am tired.

I have been inspired by my gay friends, like Eric-Equality- Kramer, who are openly gay and proud, and who fight for the rights of others to marry and live with equality. I am joining Eric in this fight!

Staying in the closet does not help the cause. I will lose family and friends over this. Sad, but true. Imagine the guilt and confusion I had as a teen when I felt excited seeing a naked woman. I have pushed my feelings and thoughts down for so long that I am just now trying to figure out who I am. The fact that I denied my own sexuality for so long is very sad.

To my Christian friends:

If you are Christian raising small children right now, please decide now that you will accept, love and support them no matter who they choose to love. I hope that you will put aside your judgment and hostility and learn to love one another. Just like your role model, Jesus, says to do.

Heterosexual friends: If someone told you tomorrow that the world has become homosexual now and the only way for you to be accepted would be to start liking people of the same sex, could you just “choose” to change sexual orientation? No? Well neither can anyone else. Live your life the way you want to live it, and let other do the same please!

A book about women’s sexuality:

"Sexual Fluidity" << read the book review here!

Any other suggestions?

A movie that may give you a new perspective: (Please suggest other movies and I will list them here)

"A Jihad for Love" Part I (watch all 6 parts on YouTube. It is also available on Netflix) Although I think these people are deluded to keep practicing a religion that is so... well, crazy, I do think that this movie demonstrates just how difficult it was for these people to be gay. Even when threatened by jail and death, they were still gay. What does this say?
Read this awesome review of the movie by my above mentioned friend, Eric Kramer.

(Please note: If you are a Christian who is gay or if you are a Christian who accepts and loves homosexuals, please know that this blog is not directed at you. This blog is my own experience with MOST Christians who think that being a Christian means not acknowledging that gays are who they are. If you believe in “god” he made LGBT people that way, so please learn to be more Christ-like)

I will delete any comments that are “homophobic”(for lack of a better word. A phobia is a fear, most people who are homophobic are more hateful than fearful) racist, or hateful in any way. I welcome your views if you can state them in a respectful manner. As you can see this is an atheist blog, so if you are trying to preach to me or convert me, please give up and go to a Christian blog for support and acceptance.

(3 paintings are by me)


  1. Lovely post. But really, I just wanted to say that I LOVE your paintings. :-D

  2. As usual...ur writing is always insightful, thanks for giving us a glimpse n2 ur world, and welcome to the LGBTQ family ;)

  3. Hey Lori, It's Amy. I finally read your blog and now I know what one is! lol. You know I love you nomatter who you choose to love. And your artwork is gorgeous. Big hugs from me and congrats on being brave enough to let people know who you are. I can't really imagine fearing not being accepted by my family and I really think you are brave. Love, Amy

  4. What a brilliant post. I loved it. Kudos to you for taking a stand. Inspiring!


  5. Way to go girl! Great post. It's like being born again, lol. When you can be who you are doors will open every where. Enjoy! Don't worry too much about it. Just go with the flow.

    I love your paintings too!!!

  6. Great Blog. It was brave of you to say, Mom, and I'm proud of you. You always taught me to voice my opinion and I do! I get it from you. I think you are too nice, kind, and caring for anyone to not love you anymore because of this. Just be who you are. Because you only have one life to live

  7. Hey Lori,

    I love this post and I really appreciate your honesty. I'm with Amy - who ever you choose to love I'm going to be your friend.

    Kate xxx

  8. Well written, thought provoking and so true. People are who people are, regardless, that's why the world is such an interesting place :-)

  9. I know for sure that one of the main contributing factors for my turning my back on the faith I grew up with was the treatment of homosexuals.

    I imagine your process is not about God or the treatment of homosexuals, but unprocessed "stuff" from your childhood..

  10. Michael you can "imagine" whatever you like. I really don't care what your views are since you don't know me. Go read blogs where you won't feel the need to preach. I have stated my blog is not for these kinds of comments.

  11. A sweet and sincere post. All people are deserving of love and dignity, things that fundamentalists have refused to show LGBT people for a long time. Fortunately, society is changing for the better.


Love The Sinner, Hate The Sin

Many extreme Christians have phrases and comments that I consider beyond ridiculous. I often just ignore their sayings and move along. Howev...