Sunday, November 27, 2011

God is not good, or existent (that I can see) but life is....

Sometimes when I don't write in my blog for so long, it is because I am having a difficult time. But lately, I really am doing well.

I have been working on healing myself. I am no longer in a relationship of any kind. I feel fulfilled and happy to be on my own for the first time in my life. My breakup with my last girlfriend was tough, but I learned a lot about myself. Rather than ask myself (when I make mistakes) what was I thinking? I am learning to ask myself, What was I learning? I can definitely say I have been learning a lot.

I have learned to ignore people who don't like or understand the fact that I am bisexual. Nothing is going to change that. I really don't think I would change myself, even if I could. I like being this way. It is difficult when my parents don't acknowledge the fact that I am, or when they think I am choosing to be this way, or when other people judge me and think I am just unable to make up my mind. But honestly, I like myself! I still feel pain every day when I think about my parents and the way they disapprove of me. No matter how old I get, I still want my parents to love me and to be proud of me. I am pretty sure they love me, but I wonder if they will ever accept me as I am and be proud of the person that I am.

Yes, I am still an atheist. I always will be. Until I see some real evidence that there is a god, which every day convinces me more and more that there isn't, then I will stick with logic and just say we have this one life, so I am going to do everything I can to make it great. I feel less angry about the way I was raised. I can see my parents were just doing the best they could. I can see they turned to religion as a way to cope with life. I understand that. I am trying to learn to judge them less and to understand things from their perspective. They are really good grandparents to my kids and I appreciate that they spend time with Noah almost every week and that they drive him to Boyscouts. He enjoys spending time with them too.

Noah and me on his birthday: November 1st
I have also learned that I am stronger than I thought possible. 75 days ago, I started working out and counting my calories. In the beginning, my reasons for this were strictly to get into my favorite jeans that had become tight. Now I realize I have gained a whole lot more out of this experience. I have gained confidence! I never thought I would be motivated enough to stick with a program like this. But I just keep telling myself I can do it!I realize I can do so much more than I give myself credit for- which has helped me in every area of my life. So far I have lost 13 pounds. I have about 7 more pounds to my goal weight. My jeans that I wanted to fit me are now baggy. :) I bought some news ones!

Things I want to continue to work on:
1) Being more accepting of people who have different beliefs than I do.
2) Trying to see things from the perspective of others.
3) Forgiving people who have hurt me.
4) Letting things go. Sometimes I am just too sensitive and I get my feelings hurt very easily.
5) Being the best and most moral person that I can be so that I can show others that imaginary beings are not what makes us good people. WE are what makes us good people. WE have it all inside of us.

Who would have known there were abs under there?
I will be writing again soon. I just wanted to give a quick update.

Thanks to those who read my blog! I appreciate it!

A special and BIG thanks to Vyckie Garrison for all the mentions on Twitter. Check out her awesome blog here:


  1. First of all, Vicky at No Longer Quivering is made of awesome, second, model your new jeans for us (me). so glad to hear that you are doing well. you deserve it.


  2. Just a reminder for people who may not have read very far back on my blog. I will delete your hateful comments. If you took any time to read past the title of my blog you would see I am not a man-hater or hateful in anyway. This blog is about my personal journey. I don't mind if you disagree, but I refuse to keep your hateful crap on my blog.

  3. Wow! Look at you! Congrats! I'm going to use your success story as my own motivation to lose a few pounds!

  4. @Anonymous.
    1) This is my blog. I allow respectful comments- not hate speech. Maybe you need to learn the difference. If you read my WHOLE blog you would know this about me. I don't mind people disagreeing with me, but there is no need to come on my blog and be an ass-hole.
    2) If you are bold enough to call me all the names you have called me- maybe you should let us know your name. Why hide behind "anonymous" when you post nasty rude comments?
    3)I find it interesting that you keep coming back to my ATHEIST blog to read and make rude comments. Why don't you go start your own blog that is ANTI- feminist, and right-wing conservative, and Tea-Party bullshit you seem to like. You can write to your heart's content and not have to worry about me deleting your comments. I can guarantee I WON'T be going to your blog to waste my time making rude comments about your stupid beliefs. Just think of all the anger you could get out by writing on your own blog!

    1. Well done! @anonymous doesn't want conversation, he just wants to hit and run.


      Well done on your thought provoking blog!

  5. Hey, I just stumbled on your blog. I wanted to comment because your blog description pretty much describes me, too. I am a recent deconvert, so I'm still wrestling with the idea of my bisexuality. Did you wrestle with it as well when you first became an atheist?

  6. Dear Lori,

    To promote skepticism/critical thinking I wrote some questions for the Christian believer. Mefiante from South African Skeptics made a good translation. She is now working at the last part. The most sophisticated questions. Are you able to put the link to these questions at your blog.

    Thank you very much,

    Piet - Rotterdam - Netherlands.

    The original questions
    The translation
    The first one who did this, was Jonathan. This is a good example.

  7. I think its harder to believe that we came from some kind of biological soup and evolved from frogs than to believe we were created by a loving creator who put his love in us, and had an eternal plan gor us. I'm sad that you never met the real God thay loves you.

    1. And God was created by whom? Is it really so hard to imagine the possibility of one change leading to another, then another, and another and so on - even if you choose to believe in creation instead? We're not talking about having been primordial soup last week.

    2. It is not harder to believe that if you have even a rudimentary understanding of science.

      It is actually FAR more difficult to believe that everything that we know about how the universe works is wrong. If a god exists, that god breaks all of the laws of the universe as we know it. That god would be far more complex than the universe that he created, and that begs the question, who created that god?

  8. Life can definitely throw you some curveballs. Hope things work out for you, my dear.

  9. Hi I’m Heather! Please email me when you get a chance! I have a question about your blog. HeatherVonsj(at)gmail(dot)com


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